• Denner Shermann - Masters of Evil

I Am Gambit 
with Mike Rapin

When the rantings and ravings of Mike Rapin fill up among his small group of listeners, he turns to the digital pen and paper. Expect nothing less than irrational cries about meaningless anythings and possibly a logical idea here or there, but nonetheless hilarious (for those with a real sense of humor).

Just this past Saturday (May 26) I was at a concert in the downtown area of the nearest city. The show was, as I knew beforehand, a wannabe hardcore show. The first band that played was quite awesome.  Dual screams, a guitar, keyboard, bass drums and the occasional saxophone---fun stuff. Sadly though, they were the best band there. 

The night next moved forward. The second band was some odd bland metal. It reminded me of Slayer if none of the band members could play their instruments outside of the occasional decent solo. It was kind of sad really. 

The third band was the crowd favorite (but I'll get to that in a second). Some sing-songy sh!t-filled Still Remains wanna-be band.  Honestly, it isn’t even worth typing about.

And finally the band who was supposedly asked back by the owner to headline because they were so awesome... try so-not awesome. Sure, they had the second and third band beat by a long-shot (you could call it a f#%king misnomer really), but they weren't better than the first band. The crowd was thin by the time they started and I wasn't too impressed outside of one of the guitarists (who I knew beforehand was a phenomenal musician) and one or two well-put together breakdowns. 

But my story today isn't about the music. Oh hell no. Not even close. And it's kind of funny that it's not when you think about it. 

My story today is about the crowd, and just the crowd. When we (I along with three of my pals) arrived to this local venue I nearly wet my pants out of excitement not for the show, but for the crowd. You see, when I go to shows of this low caliber, it's rarely for the bands playing. I go to shows like this because of how outrageous some of these kids at these shows can be. 

For instance, at this show there were kids who were wearing items of clothing that you would see in an S&M basement in San Francisco. Now, re-read what I have been saying: these were kids. Some of them I recognized from my old high school and I am for damn sure that these kids were not/are not into S&M. 

This stuff seriously cracks me up. This show sported all sorts of kids who were in desperate need of attention from someone. And the majority of these kids were, in actuality, kids no older than 17. The funny part of all this was that these kids who need attention act out by dressing all dark and 'different' and all that jazz, but when they come to a show like this one (or any non-pop/jazz/country show that is) they look the same and people like me or my buddies end up looking like the outcasts wearing your average t-shirts and shorts. 

And I do know that these kids are just teenagers who will grow out of it and become John and Jane Doe heading off to live life, but a choice few won't. A choice few will stick in their little hatred-world. A choice few will never realize that assuming the world hates you is never the same as the world actually hating you. Not to say I know what real hatred is from the world, but I'd like to see what would happen if one of these choice few kids were to hang out with a Holocaust survivor, or someone from Darfur. I'd hope something good would come out of that experience. 

But to get away from the serious, and back to the show (and, more importantly, back to me! haha): the crowd was quite sh!tty. The first band made the sh!tty-ness of the crowd worth it, but after that, it was all down a slippery slope covered in rusty nails with no clothes on... By the end I had lockjaw... not really. There were some fat-f#%king* ass holes who decided that since they were so f#%king fat they could try to eat everyone who ca... Okay, more like they decided to push everyone around and stop any and all real fun that everyone but they were having because they were so f#%king fat and everyone else was either a scene kid (scrawny and full of dumbness) or me and my friends (not big/caring enough to push back) or a girl. It was pissing me off all night. 

Then there were the dumbass scene kids. These were the worse kind of them all: poseurs** who could admire any real scene kids so they had to try to be real scene kids. Ugh. These kids tried and tried to be scene. OH how they tried! They tried all night. Their first real attempt was, of course, 'the massive headbang'. For those who aren't aware of what 'the massive headbang' is, I shall explain: 
 
The Massive Headbang® is, according to Mike Rapin, is a group of 10 or more people moving swiftly bending forward 45-90 degrees then back up to standing all in the same rhythm and time. 
 
Talk about hilarious.  To make a long and laugh-filled story short, this continued on until the end of the night with the occasional wanna-be hardcore dance (which was just as hilarious). Oh, and I did start a one-man circle-pit. It was awesome. 

Surprisingly, I don't have a point to this one... Unless... well, okay, I do: There is no harm in laughing at scene kids or 'posi-circle-pitting' (yea, that's what my buddy Joel called it), but really harm comes when you're f#%king fat and don't let people have a good time because you have some superiority complex where because mommy never loved you and food/tv became your new mom (it never judges you!!) or whatever is your damn psychological f#%k-up. Man I love going to shows... 
 
For those who give a damn: 
First Band: http://www.myspace.com/wotgp 
Second Band: http://www.myspace.com/beyondallreckoningmusic 
Third Band: http://www.myspace.com/behindliesruin 
Fourth Band: http://www.purevolume.com/burnthesky (this is an older song, but they DID play it live) 
 
Gotta love myspace! (NO!) 
 
* I don't care that these guys were f#%king fat, because I'm not the skinniest guy in the world, but that they were the bad kind of a$$hole whereas I'm the not-that-bad kind of a$$hole 
 

Cover our ass part: The views expressed here are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of Thrashpit, Rocknworld, the Iconoclast Entertainment Group, the Pope, George W. Kennedy, soccer moms, pop-punk fans, etc. Note: this rant was slightly censored by the man... only one specific word was altered. You should still know what it is, even with the alteration. If you don't you, you are as bright as a f*cking blackout and should consider sterilization . Love, Big Brother