I
Am Gambit
with
Mike Rapin
When the rantings and ravings of Mike Rapin
fill up among his small group of listeners, he turns to the digital pen
and paper. Expect nothing less than irrational cries about meaningless
anythings and possibly a logical idea here or there, but nonetheless hilarious
(for those with a real sense of humor).
If you are under 18 or are easily offended,
stop reading now!
Evil
So, who's been a neglectful writer? Me.
Yes, the sadness should have been overwhelming
to me, but in light of Turkey Day, I shall tell you a tale:
A man wakes up one morning and thinks to
himself, "Wow, I am lucky fool." His day consists of an 8 hour job (with
a working lunch to save time) and your typical hellos and how's-it-goings--nothing
outside of your average day. The man's office is grey and white-themed
(cost efficient of course) with some cheesy motivational posters of cats
and whatnot.
Following this man's shift at work, he
heads home to his wife and kids. Bobby is five and Sally is three. The
man's wife of six years is anxious for the man's arrival home, for she
has a surprise for him.
The man waltzes into his home to be greeted
by his beautiful wife. His kids come yelling frantically into the family
den in excitement of their father's arrival. The man slips off his neck
tie with a slight sigh after hugging his children and walking towards the
master bedroom of his home.
"A good day at the office, hun?" the wife
asks.
"Why yes, of course, honey. Nothing out
of the usual," the man replies from the bedroom. The man dresses himself
accordingly for the upcoming night.
The man's wife picks up the phone to call
the family sitter as the man re-enters the living room. "Yes, Shirly,"
the wife says, "I just wanted to call you back about the sitting job tonight...
yes, yes, seven o'clock would be just fantastic... thank you.. good bye."
The wife hangs the phone up.
"Excited dear?" the man asks.
"Why wouldn't I be?" the man's wife replies.
The couple stare at each other for a moment,
both grinning.
Upon the arrival of their babysitter, Shirly,
the man and his wife leave their home waving and calling goodbye to their
children.
Within twenty minutes, the couple arrive
at the local concert venue--The Walker--and head in the back entrance.
After a moment of walking around the venue,
a man with long mangled brown hair called to the couple, "Bill! Amy! What
took you so long? We're about to go on!" the man's shirt is all black with
a red pentagram in the center.
"Sorry Ted, we just had to spend an extra
ten minutes with the kids, you know," the man is beaming at his wife.
"Well, nevertheless, grab a guitar and
lets go. Everything is set up on stage"
"All right, will do," the man says. He
grabs a large black guitar. On the back, the words "Exspectata Diabolus
in nostrum pectus pectoris" in a dark crimson.
The man's wife smiles and gives her husband
a kiss on his cheek. "Good luck, may Satan fuel your hate."
"And let his ascent come upon us..." the
man replied.
"I love you, sweetie," cried the woman
as her love walked up onto the stage.
The band's name was Pyrocynic. They were
a black metal band based out of Des Moines, Iowa. Within fifteen minutes
into their set, a fire erupted from the bassist's head and everyone at
the show was killed. No one knew why, or how this happened, just that it
did happen.
Billy and Sally never knew who their parents
were: satanists into a black metal band--everyday folk just like you and
me.
My point is this: everyone has a dark side,
but no one deserves to die because of it. See also: Heroes on NBC.
Peace, love and metal.
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