• Denner Shermann - Masters of Evil

I Am Gambit 
with Mike Rapin

When the rantings and ravings of Mike Rapin fill up among his small group of listeners, he turns to the digital pen and paper. Expect nothing less than irrational cries about meaningless anythings and possibly a logical idea here or there, but nonetheless hilarious (for those with a real sense of humor).

 If I have learned anything from working selling retail (CD players, boom-boxes, etc.), it's that I cannot stand passive-aggressive a**holes. The type of people who come into my place of work and give you subtle, dirty looks for no apparent reason. I just feel the need to yell at them.

Here is a typical scenario:

Me: [sitting, minding my own business because business is slow]
Person: [walks by me, glares with an evil intent]
Me: [stares back, confused and offended]

This is a scenario I would love to play out:

Me: [sitting, minding my own business because business is slow]
Person: [walks by me, glares with an evil intent]
Me: [angrily] Hi, do you have a f**king problem?
Person: [confused] What? I'm sorry?
Me: [softer, maniacal] No, you aren't sorry.
Person: I'd like to speak with your manager.
Me: [still maniacal] I'm sorry, I killed him telepathically because of 
you.
Person: [walks off to another salesman]
Me: [yelling] No bitch, you get back here; we're not finished!
Person: Stay away from me!
Me: [laughing insanely while chasing Person]
Person: Dear God help me!
Me: [hiding behind a washer/dryer/refrigerator]
Person: [to another salesman] Can I please see your manager? That guy 
over there has been--
Me: AHHH! [I pounce on the person, knocking them down, then stand up 
abruptly]
Salesman: What the hell?
Me: [flat, serious] Never mind. Just call the cops.
Salesman: What?
...

This is where I have no place for a good ending for that, but just want to say that I f**king hate a**holes.

To continue, I would like to state that if someone is a direct a**hole to me, I will be pissed, but not as much.  Think of it this way, if someone pisses you off due to their "a**hole-ness" hours after the incident of them being an a**hole, you should be pissed.

The vast majority of people I have met in my entire life, are a**holes some way or another.

See also: Me.

Now I have no solution to this problem of smugness, egotism, and unstoppable selfishness which causes this asinine behavior, but I would like to say that we all should stop being a**holes to strangers for no good reason. Looks are nothing. Actions are something. So if I cut you off in traffic, give me the finger or something of that nature, but just because my looks aren't ideal to what you would like to see doesn't mean sh*t.

Wearing bad clothes does not mean someone is a bad person. Look at Jesus: sandals and an overall dress-thing; I'm pretty sure he wanted to benefit mankind and he was dressed like a bum. Or look at Buddhist monks, those guys wear nothing but three cloths for clothes and they are most likely the most virtuous people in the world.

So f**k you soccer moms of America (and whoever else applies)! Just like words, looks mean nothing; actions mean everything.

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.

.

Cover our ass part: The views expressed here are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of Thrashpit, Rocknworld, the Iconoclast Entertainment Group, the Pope, George W. Kennedy, soccer moms, pop-punk fans, etc. Note: this rant was slightly censored by the man... only one specific word was altered. You should still know what it is, even with the alteration. If you don't you, you are as bright as a f*cking blackout and should consider sterilization . Love, Big Brother