• Denner Shermann - Masters of Evil

I Am Gambit 
with Mike Rapin

When the rantings and ravings of Mike Rapin fill up among his small group of listeners, he turns to the digital pen and paper. Expect nothing less than irrational cries about meaningless anythings and possibly a logical idea here or there, but nonetheless hilarious (for those with a real sense of humor).

As of late, I have found out that I have become severely angry and near-violent with the general public in and around my place of living. I look to myself and a small group of tight-knit, elitist friends and wonder, "Why am I like this?" to which none of them have a real answer, but perhaps I have the solution:

Oppressive and vindictive Christians that are so easily offended that it makes me sick.

Yes, that is quite possibly it.

Now, I'm not going to go into a whole spiel about how I have a dislike for those type of people, but instead, I shall speak of censorship. Oh yes, the mightiest of conservative weapons in the realm of music/movies/TV/etc.

Now, your question: I know I've heard this bullshit before, what do I care?

Answer: F*ck you. I have the pen and the paper.

For you to fully understand my situation, I must tell you a little about myself and cite some examples leading up to what I want to say:

1. I am a high school graduated, 17-year-old asshole and a foul-mouthed one at that.

2. I am quite self-centered and, again, an asshole.

3. I eat SubWay at least once a week (Jared, you motherf*cker...).

4. A girl I know would not go on a promised date with my friend because I am so vulgar. (EDITOR'S NOTE: I know nothing about this...nothing at al. Oh, and Mike...you owe me a prostitute---Mark)

 5. I have offended more Christians/Conservatives in my 4 years of high school than I have had for teachers in my entire school career.

So, you see, I am not only a dick, but a sordid dick to people I know.

And this is what bugs me about people (mainly Christians/Conservatives/the general public): no one likes to hear me swear or talk about 'inappropriate things' (see also: making fun of ugly people, little kids, dumb people, pornography--any kind--etc.). And to this, I say, "F*ck you, welcome to the real world," because honestly, when don't you hear swearing and all of that stuff on TV or in movies? Is it so wrong to swear?

And those people say to me, "Well, I don't ever hear those kinds of things" or "I won't ever see a movie with those kinds of things in it" or even "Jesus wouldn't want me to watch something like that" all of which I don't understand. Just because YOU don't see a movie/TV show/etc. doesn't mean that the rest of the world isn't going to see it, and after, what stops them from imitating or quoting this bad movie/TV show/whatever? How the f*ck do you expect to weed out everything 'bad' in the world? Words mean NOTHING. As the old children's poem/song thing goes: "Sticks and stones will break my bones, but words will never hurt me". So, unless someone punches/kicks/bites/hits you and causes you ACTUAL pain, please don't bitch about how words are bad... and don't NOT date someone because of their mindless, vulgar asshole friends, that's way f*cking shallow. (EDITOR's NOTE: Amen, sing the words my brother!---Mark).

In case you don't know, without bad, there is no good, and also, this wasn't much about censorship as much as it was about how people are f*cking stupid sometimes. 
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Cover our ass part: The views expressed here are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of Thrashpit, Rocknworld, the Iconoclast Entertainment Group, the Pope, George W. Kennedy, soccer moms, pop-punk fans, etc. Note: this rant was slightly censored by the man... only one specific word was altered. You should still know what it is, even with the alteration. If you don't you, you are as bright as a f*cking blackout and should consider sterilization . Love, Big Brother

Perhaps more elitist/skeptic humor from Mr. Rapin soon?