Milwaukee's Little Secret (It's Not Summerfest!)

It's a rare occurrence when everybody in a major metropolitan area conspires to keep a secret. But the populace of Milwaukee has taken a vow of silence when it comes to what lies beyond the doorway at 779 Front Street. A small, non-descript plaque on the brick wall next to the door marks the spot as the entryway to International Exports, Ltd. On the other side of the door is a tiny room, seemingly inaccessible other than from the street, where a single person awaits your arrival. And this is where Milwaukee's most intriguing secret is kept. If you're in on the secret you'll cup your hand over your mouth so no one can see you lips moving and whisper something into the doorkeeper's ear. You know the password! 

As it turns out, International Exports, Ltd. is merely a "front" for the Safe House, a spy-themed bar where you have to know the password to get in. Or let's say, you have to know the password to get in without going through a little minor humiliation. Knowing this in advance of my arrival I tried to weasel the password out of various and sundry Milwaukeeans---hotel clerks, a bus driver, men and women on the street---all to no avail. Everybody knew about the place and most knew the password, but none would give it up. Not even with a bribe of free beer on offer. 

So I headed for the Safe House envisioning myself having to pirouette about in a pink tutu to get in; fortunately it wasn't that bad. After wobbling around the "front" office like a penguin and bouncing off a wall or two I was allowed into the Safe House via a hidden entryway behind a fake bookcase that swings open. That's when I found out that my penguin antics were shown on monitors throughout the Safe House to the great amusement of those already sipping their drinks. No matter, I was now in on the joke and in a great place to have an evening's worth of fun. The Safe House is primarily a watering hole and to that end they serve a bunch of specialty cocktails with names like Spy's Demise, Under Cover Girl and Mission Impossible but even if you have a plain old beer (this is Milwaukee, after all) you'll have a blast checking out the theme areas that pay tribute to every era of spy activity from Mata Hari to James Bond to the Cold War. Among the treasure trove of spy-a-phernalia are items that were actually used in the espionage game along with lots of kitschy stuff including memorabilia from spy movies. And that's not all; there are secret passageways, a "magic bar" where legerdemain is the name of game, an autograph collection and food if you're hungry (a spy's gotta eat, right?) There are a few other unique surprises at the Safe House too but I can't reveal them here lest I spoil the fun. Suffice it to say, stay alert! www.safe-house.com 

With the exception of the secrets of the Safe House, Milwaukeeans are quite willing to talk about their city and they're especially proud of Summerfest, the annual blowout that's billed as the world's biggest music festival. Summerfest always takes place in late June and early July and the dates for 2010 are June 24th through July 4th. Amazingly, more than eight hundred (yup, 800!) bands will take to the 11 Summerfest stages during this period and there is truly something to suit every musical taste. Obviously the list of talent is too large to go into here, but just to whet your appetite here are a handful of this year's scheduled performers: Tom Petty, ZZ Top, Justin Bieber, Carrie Underwood, Brooks & Dunn, Sheryl Crow, The Moody Blues, Peter Frampton, Rush, Yes, Santana, Tim McGraw, Eric Clapton and Roger Daltrey. Those are just some of the really big names. Mix in the likes of Scorpions, O.A.R., B.B. King, Uriah Heep, Chevelle, the Hold Steady, the Dirty Heads, the B-52s, Usher and Counting Crows and you're beginning to get the idea. Even Weird Al Yankovic will be there! The way Summerfest is set up is that you pay one admission price to see all of the evening's entertainment with entrance to the night's superstar show at the Marcus Amphitheater coming at an additional cost. So you can wander from stage to stage at your leisure and if you come early you can easily check out a dozen acts on any given night. Over the course of just a few hours in 2009 I saw the Constellations, teenage fiddle star Ruby Jane, Bob Dylan, Willie Nelson, Hitide.Lotide, STS9 and Rusted Root. 

Located on a huge parcel of land adjacent to Lake Michigan and Lakeshore State Park, Summerfest not only offers an incredible amount of music but also a wide variety of other activities, like the biggest and best state fair you've ever been too. That means lots of food and drink, golf hole-in-one contests, live radio broadcasts and sports shows, a "sky glider" ride, tons of activities for the kids; again, you get the idea. You can easily spend a full day at Summerfest and not cover everything; if you're visiting Milwaukee during Summerfest plan on attending several days if your schedule allows. You won't be disappointed! For more info visit www.summerfest.com 

Milwaukee is one of the most fun cities in the Midwest and I could go on and on about all the things to do there, but I'll leave you with just one more idea, especially for music lovers. Take some time to visit Discovery World, a hands-on museum dedicated to innovation, technology and environment. This is a really cool place where you can, among other things, see what it feels like to lie on a bed of nails or "fly" an airplane in a flight simulator. But the display not to be missed is Les Paul's House of Sound, a large exhibit dedicated to the late "father of the electric guitar." Paul's story is told through hundreds of pieces of memorabilia including his original "log" guitar, dozens of guitars autographed by hot-shot pickers and even a small recording studio. Paul was from the Milwaukee area and the Discovery World installation is probably the best tribute to him that there will ever be. www.discoveryworld.org 

So have fun in Milwaukee. Just remember that when you leave the Safe House and you know the password, you can't tell anyone. The city would really prefer that you keep that to yourself.

www.visitmilwaukee.org

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