Oh Lordi!: Finnish "Safari" Visits the Metal Monsters' Lair!

Have you ever wondered what kind of creatures roam the Arctic? Well I can tell you, in the Finnish portion of Lapland, there are monsters! The area is full of gentle reindeer and lumbering musk-ox and thousands of happy people but monsters are known to inhabit Rovaniemi, a city that sits just south of the Arctic Circle. Fortunately, these monsters are friendly and they're not so hideous either when they're out of their stage get-ups. Rovaniemi is the hometown of world-famous Finnish rock band Lordi, a five-piece metal band known for wearing outrageous monster costumes during their performances. I didn't get to meet the band when I visited Rovaniemi but I did get to see Lordi's Rocktaurant, the bar and restaurant the group owns and operates. Having a couple drinks in Lordi's was the perfect topper to my week-long, action-packed "men's safari" through Lapland.

My plane landed in Helsinki two days before my Lapland adventure was scheduled to begin so I had a day to explore the very cosmopolitan city. I stayed at the Glo Hotel, a boutique hotel featuring modern design located in the heart of Helsinki's hip shopping area and just a short walk from dozens of shops and galleries that make up what is called the Design District Helsinki. If you're familiar with the kind of stuff that IKEA carries (they're headquartered in neighboring Sweden) then you have an idea of what all the shops in Design District Helsinki offer. One of the most stunning showrooms is at Artek, a company founded by late Finnish architect and designer (and some say the father of modernism) Alvar Aalto. Aalto's work is known the world over but it is ubiquitous in Finland; it's said that every single household in the country owns at least one piece of his work. After seeing the ultra-hip furnishings in the Artek store it's easy to believe that the claim is true. I should point out that I came to Finland in the wintertime and Helsinki was very cold but still comfortably navigated by foot. At any rate, I was soon to be bound for much cooler climes; north to Lapland and the Arctic Circle! 

Lapland is the name of a territory that crosses international borders; geographically it's located in Norway, Sweden, Finland and Russia with the bulk of it being in northern Finland. Having signed on for a "men's safari" put together by Taxari Travel, my adventure in Lapland began virtually as soon as my plane touched down in the city of Kemi. I and my two travelling companions were met at the airport by our guide, a vibrant and knowledgeable young Russian named Alexie. Alexie would lead, feed, teach and sometimes laugh at us over the course of the safari, set to begin in earnest the following day. We got an inkling of what Alexie had in store for us when the first thing he did was take us to get outfitted with cold weather wear---full body snowmobile suits, gloves and snow boots that we'd more or less live in for the duration of our adventure. After getting dressed for the weather we hopped onto a rustic sleigh and were pulled by horse through a gentle snowfall to our accommodations for the night at the Wanha Pappila Lodge and Cottages near Simo. Wanha Pappila is located right on the Bay of Bothnia, the giant finger of sea that lies between Finland and Sweden to the west. The bay is frozen over for miles during the winter and Alexie took us out that evening to let us try our hand at ice-fishing. None of us caught anything although I did let one get away. It really didn't matter though because a big part of the experience was the fun of being sprawled out on the ice on a warm reindeer pelt with a cup of hot grog nearby. Noting that we weren't the most skilled at fishing, Alexie wisely kept our mugs filled with steaming adult beverage. Later Alexie piled us onto a large sled and pulled us by snowmobile to an island a couple miles out in the bay; there we did some snowshoeing and warmed up with coffee prepared over a blazing campfire. Back at the lodge we ate a big dinner, relaxed in a sauna (a daily rite and tradition in Finland) and retired to our cottages to get a good night's rest in preparation for the very full next day that Alexie had planned for us.

After an early breakfast Alexie revealed our itinerary for the day---we were to travel by snowmobile to Kukkolaforsen, a Swedish town just over the border 120 kilometers away (about 70 miles.) The first portion of our journey was on the frozen Bay of Bothnia where the ice was smooth enough that we could really open up our machines to about the 45-M.P.H. mark. After jetting along on the frozen sea for about twenty minutes we pulled to shore and climbed a snow bank up to the entryway of the Lumi Linna snow castle; a huge, amazing structure that takes a team of sculptors several weeks to build. The castle features an ice bar (everything made of ice---tables, bar, stools, etc.) and lots of sculptures ranging from a bear standing on its hind legs to a detailed replica of a Harley chopper. Back on our snowmobiles we headed farther out to sea where we rendezvoused with the ice-breaking ship Sampo. Aboard the ship we had a traditional Finnish lunch of reindeer and mashed potatoes and afterwards we got a tour of the ship including the bridge and the noisy but interesting engine room. The ship cruised for about an hour and even though it was very cold standing out on the deck it was well worth it to watch the ice breaking into thousands of geometrically-shaped chunks in the ship's wake. When the ship returned to the place on the ice where it picked us up we donned "rescue suits" and bobbed around in the open water for a few minutes; this had to be done as soon as the ship stopped moving since the ice freezes back up quickly. The next leg of our journey found us driving our snowmobiles off the sea and back onto land where we took a path through a dense forest. Later, deep in the woods, we stopped at a kota, a tepee-like structure that is common to the Sami people who are the indigenous people of Lapland. Here we warmed up with hot juice made from local berries and participated in a Sami reindeer ceremony whereby we were marked as members of a reindeer herd. The Sami gentleman who performed the ceremony played a hypnotic rhythm on a single drum as he stared into the kota's roaring fire, said a few words about how valuable and beloved his reindeer are and then inducted us into the herd by smudging charcoal on our heads to mark where our antlers would grow when we are reincarnated as reindeer. He also "cut" our ears in a certain way to mark us as his; fortunately this "branding" part of the ceremony was done with a dull wooden knife and symbolic only! The remainder of the trip found us traversing every kind of territory as we followed a roller-coaster of a forest road past small villages, over railroad tracks and cross-country ski trails and even through a working logging operation. All in all we really got to see the Finnish countryside and enjoy a snowmobile trip that was completely invigorating. After crossing the border into Kukkolaforsen we said goodbye to our snowmobiles and went to take a much-needed sauna and have a traditional Swedish dinner.

The next two days were also packed with fun and adventure. We hitched up teams of dogs and drove dogsleds down a frozen river, participated in an ice-cart competition (like racing go-karts but on snow pack!) and got our official "reindeer driver's licenses" by taking a frenzied ride through the woods alone on a sled pulled by a rambunctious member of the herd. We visited the Lapin Kulta brewery and of course sampled the tasty Finnish beer, took a white-knuckle, fishtail-filled speed ride on a narrow snow-packed forest road with a professional racecar driver and visited the Ranua Wildlife Park where we saw tons of animals including polar bears, lynx, a variety of beautiful owls and even a wolverine. We visited the Arktikum Museum of Arctic History and Culture and went to Santa's Village which is located right on the Arctic Circle. And yes, we did meet the man himself! The village is a shopper's paradise and the Santa experience is kind of Disney-esque; you walk through a myriad of displays showing Christmas scenes from around the world and some of them are interactive and effects-laden. Lastly you get to talk to Santa for a few minutes; he has a chair next to him for us big kids to use. 

Our safari ended in Rovaniemi and we had one last stop to make there before we had to catch our flight back to Helsinki and then home. From the outside, Lordi's Rocktaurant looks like it might be just like any other restaurant. But when the first thing you see upon entering is a very lifelike monster you quickly realize that this isn't Denny's! The restaurant features tables and chairs that are very gothic---they look like Dracula's dining room set! 

The walls are covered with Lordi memorabilia including lots of their gory masks, a couple of full costumes and stuff like autographed drum heads. A separate bar is located downstairs and it is equally spooky complete with coffin-shaped structures where you can hang your coat (or maybe something else!) The city of Rovaniemi honors the band with Lordi Square which is located in a shopping district a few blocks from the Rocktaurant. The group members have immortalized their handprints, claws and all, in a monument featured prominently in the square. Needless to say, my men's safari in Finnish Lapland was a monstrously good time!

www.visitfinland.com www.taxari.com www.rocktaurant.com

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