"Weird Al"
Yankovic
.
Asked by Weatherman2111: What is your
favorite memory from all of the touring you have done?
Once, I think it was in 1986, there was
this - I don't know, I think it was curried broccoli or something - on
the deli tray backstage. Anyway, it was really good.
Asked by asher: what would we do without
you (or why do men have nipples)?
According to my friend Cecil Adams, every
human being gets a unique set of 23 pairs of chromosomes at conception.
These fall into two categories. One pair of chromosomes determines sex--the
XX combination means you become female, the XY combination means you become
male. The other 22 pairs, the non-sex chromosomes (they're called autosomes),
supply what we might call the standard equipment that all humans get. These
22 pairs constitute an all-purpose genetic blueprint that in effect is
programmed for either maleness or femaleness by the sex chromosomes. The
programming is done by the hormones secreted by the sex glands. For example,
the autosomes give you a voice box, while the sex hormones determine whether
it's going to be a deep male voice or a high female voice. Similarly, the
autosomes give you nipples, and the sex hormones determine whether said
nipples are going to be functioning (in females) or not (in males).One
interesting consequence of the developmental set-up just described is that
during the very early stages of fetal life, before the sex hormones have
had a chance to do their stuff, all humans are basically bisexual. Among
other things, you have two sets of primitive plumbing--one male, one female.
Only one set develops into a mature urogenital system, but you retain traces
of the other for the rest of your life. It's tempting, therefore, to say
that male nipples are yet another vestige of your carefree bisexual youth.
Trouble is, male nipples are hardly vestigial. They're full-sized and fully
equipped with blood vessels, nerves, and all the usual appurtenances of
functioning organs. Why this should be so nobody knows--in some other mammals,
such as rats and mice, male nipple development is completely suppressed
by the male sex hormones. (Incidentally, don't start thinking that at one
time our human male ancestors must have suckled their young. So far as
anybody knows, male lactation has never developed in any mammalian species.)
Human nipples appear in the third or fourth week of development, well before
the sex characteristics. (The sex hormones start to assert themselves at
seven weeks.) As many as seven pairs of nipples are arranged along either
side of a "milk line," a ridge of skin that runs from the upper chest to
the navel. Normally only one pair amounts to anything, but on about one
baby in a hundred you can detect some vestige of the other ones, usually
on the order of a freckle. There are cases of women who ended up with an
extra breast, which made them freak show candidates not so many years ago.
Luckily today the women can avail themselves of corrective surgery while
the rest of us can watch Jenny Jones. Anyway, both male and female babies
are born with the main milk ducts intact--the gland that produces milk
is there in the male, but it remains undeveloped unless stimulated by the
female hormone, estrogen. Occasionally, a male baby is born with enough
of his mother's estrogen in his body to produce a bizarre phenomenon known
as "witches' milk," with the male glands, suitably stimulated, pumping
away at the moment of birth. In the adult male, the dormant glands can
still be revived by a sufficient dose of estrogen. Actual lactation is
rare--only a couple cases have been recorded. But at least one writer (Daly,
1978) has suggested that the "physiological impediments to the evolution
of male lactation do not seem individually surmountable."
Asked by MusicFilter.com: An artist
in last month's Rolling Stone named you as one of their top 3 songwriters
of all time. Do you know who it was? If you do know then who do you rank
as your top 3 songwriters of all time?
I know Sean Lennon was saying really nice
things about me in the last issue - maybe it was him. Anyway, my personal
top 3 songwriters? Hmm. Do Lennon & McCartney count as one or two?
Never mind… I'll say John Lennon, Paul McCartney and… hmm… Ray Davies.
Asked by Mike Minnick: When you write
a style parody, do you write the song first and then figure out who to
put it to, or do you say "I'm going to write a song about the pancreas
to a Brian Wilson theme"?
I always match a concept up with a song
style before I start writing, because the song style usually dictates the
nature of the lyrics.
Asked by Paul : Hey Weird Al... you
do realize that Straight Outta Compton came out almost 20 years ago, right?
Probably a little late for a spoof.
What… you mean there was already an album
out called Straight Outta Compton? Dang! I wish somebody would've
told me that. I feel so stupid now.
Asked by Mike: How'd you get so gangsta?
Well, as the title of my album would imply,
I am, in fact, Straight Outta Lynwood. I'm from the hood. I'm representing,
boy-eee. I'm all about the street cred now.
Asked by Germish: Weird Al.... What
is the meaning of life? and why do I get the feeling it has something to
do with Duran Duran?
Everything is connected. You, me, Duran
Duran, that pile of clothes in the corner, the hair in the shower drain...
everything. You will come much closer to understanding the true meaning
of life once you have assimilated this truth - that absolutely everything
in the universe… everything… is connected. Except for Lindsay Lohan.
I mean, what's the deal with her?
Asked by Stephanie: Who gave you the
wedgie in the "White and Nerdy" video?
That was the video's assistant director
John Downer. Besides his other talents, he's got a black belt in Wedgie.
Asked by Mike: "What is truth?"
Truth is anything that conforms to fact
or actuality.
Asked by biff rimshott: Al, which current
music artist do you think is the most obnoxious? I'll take my answer offline.
Thanks
Okay, I'll get back to you then.
Asked by Steven Kostis: Is it possible
to make tiramisu without alcohol or sugar in it?
Yes. Here's the recipe:
Tiramisu
Tiramisu?Serves 6-8
4 tablespoons dark rum
2 tablespoons brandy
4 fluid oz (100 ml) freshly made strong
coffee
16 sponge fingers
1 pound (450 grams) mascarpone cheese
2 eggs, separated
2 heaping tablespoons golden icing sugar
sifted cocoa powder
Mix half the rum with the brandy and coffee
in a shallow plate. Dip both sides of the sponge fingers in the brew and
place in a shallow pudding dish. Pour over any excess mixture. Wish the
mascarpone cheese with the egg yolks and sifted icing sugar, then add the
remaining rum. Beat the egg whites until stiff, stir a spoonful into the
mascarpone mixture, then fold in the rest. Spoon over the sponge fingers,sprinkle
with the cocoa powder, cover with cling film and refrigerate overnight.
Now, just replace the alcohol with diet
root beer, and the sugar with cornstarch, and you're good to go.
Asked by Dusty: What style of music
is it most easy for you to think up parodies for.
Gregorian chants. Unfortunately, they haven't
been popular in a while.
Asked by Mike Minnick: So how in the
heck did the video for White & Nerdy get leaked, and what was your
initial reaction to it?
I have no idea how the video got leaked
early - it's unbelievable how quickly stuff gets out there these days.
I was kinda upset at the time - I thought it was a little shortsighted
of AOL to cancel the whole premiere and promotion just because a few people
had already seen it on YouTube. And you know, it would have been really
nice to get the initial exposure on AOL, but several million people have
seen it online now, and it's a Top 5 video on VH-1, so I really can't complain.
Asked by Jon FROM NJ: ....are you going
to put this video on MTV...??? Even though people like new music on there.....1997
was a good year too.
I… don't quite understand you. If you're
talking about the "White & Nerdy" video, MTV told us they "didn't have
room" for it in their playlist (I'm not surprised - what do they play,
one video a week?) But thankfully, VH-1 has been more than supportive -
they immediately put it into "extra large" rotation (that's the best kind).
Asked by Zane: Who are some of your
favorite music artists, from years gone by and currently? Your band is
amazing, by the way.
Thank you. Well, if you want to see what
kind of bands I like, a whole bunch of them are in the Top Friends section
of my MySpace page!
Asked by Blizzy: May I join your band
As soon as one of my guys dies or quits,
I'll give you a call.
Asked by Brandon E: What inspired you
to start making song parodies? Was it one song in particular that just
struck you as really dumb, and you just decided to continue from that point
on, or was it something else?
I think at some point every kid in the
world listens to the radio and hears the same songs over and over and just
starts making up dumb song parodies to amuse their friends. Everybody goes
through that phase. My problem is, I just never grew out of it.
Asked by Brian Riley: Al, After seeing
the video for your first single off of "Straight Outta Lynwood" (White
and Nerdy), I was just curious as to which equation was it used in the
background. (Oh and mad props for an amazing video and vocal skill).
Thanks. And that's Schrodinger's Equation,
as it applies to the hydrogen atom.
Asked by Terry: Your new song deals
with the Internet's impact on music and how some people view it. What you
are views on how the internet helps or hurts artists?
Well, obviously, it does both. I think
established artists have certainly lost sales due to peer-to-peer filesharing
sites, but the Internet is also an incredible promotional tool, which is
a concept the record labels are finally starting to embrace. So in the
end, I guess it's kind of a wash.
Asked by Snoop Kitty Cat: Is it true
that Coolio denounced his gangster ways and joined an Amish paradise? Have
you ever had anyone else react so negatively to one of your parodies or
do most think it's an honor (as it should be)?
I hadn't heard that about Coolio… interesting
if that's true. And yes, most artists are actually honored by a Weird Al
parody and feel that it's the one true sign that they've "made it."
Asked by Sara: First off, I love you
Al. I own everything you've ever released and your music is so much more
important and honest than most of the new popular stuff that is forgotten
in 10 minutes after it is off of MTV. Can you tell us your top 5 favorite
songs you have ever recorded?
White & Nerdy
Pancreas
I'll Sue Ya
Trapped In The Drive-Thru
Don't Download This Song
Links
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and Purchase the "Straight Outta Lynwood" DualDisc Online!
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