Posted by Richard
the Gay Guy from survivor: I'll let Ryan and Noises Noises People
Make Noises!! go camping with me! Only as long as they sleep on their stomachs
!
Posted by
Noises Noises People Make Noises!!: nooo, but I do like squirrels in my ass,b(i)tch!
Posted by
Killers: Whhhaaaa hah hah hah thats good. Noises
people making noises your doing just what your post name means... blowing
wind. Whats a matter, Ryan anal rape you and your made at the world now?
I bet your a Fred Durst fan huh? I bet you'd even go down on him wouldnt
you you lame ass. Your not a Slipknot fan, you just jump on anything thats
trendy, and since its trendy to bash Ryan, then why dont you go jump on
him? Oh wait... you cant your the same person. Well in the case I guess
you can really Fuk yourself then huh ?
Posted by
Gonzo: or should I say Noisy Ryan the fukken
2 yr old
Posted by
Gonzo : Sorry Noises I've been busy washing your
moms anal juice off my dick
Posted by
Killers: I find it kinda funny that Ryan and Noises
Noises People Make Noises!! type the same as well as hyphenate the same
also leaving one to believe they are the same dickbag. They use the word
bitch like this b(i)tch and Fag like f(a)g. Get real Ryan you have no friends.
Posted by
Paranoia: You know, it would be really nice if more
than 2 people who posted on here actually could say something that's halfway
intelligent. It's nice that Noises hates Ryan, too, but look at the way
he f*cking b*tches. Just like someone else I know! And just because People=Sh*t
is the only person on here who's worth defending (as he doesn't go around
using racial slurs and homophobic numbass bullsh*t in his posts...hmmm,
maybe you guys should f*cking grow up if you want people to take you seriously)
doesn't mean this, as you put it, is a "love connection." And why the f*ck
are you telling us we can't handle Slipknot? Because we don't share exactly
the same f*ck-'em-all-everyone-sucks-because-my-music-told-me-that bullsh*t
as you? Does that make us idiots or something just because we don't agree??
It seems like everyone here (with some very rare exceptions) thinks so.
Dudes, come up with something NEW to say before you just recycle some old
comment and once again make a complete idiot of yourselves!! I'm sorry
if you're too f*cking dumb to understand this post. If you don't, read
it again, or try graduating from junior high.
Posted by
People=Sh*t: Noises Noises Noises is a dumba$$. You
moron, I'm a fan of Slipknot. And this isn't their site, it's an article
and fan speak about Slipknot. That sliding thing sounds like fun, but I
have a better idea. How about I slit your throat and f#ck the wound.
Posted by
Noises Noises People Make Noises!!: To every non-believer in here. I hate
you. Gonzo,Ryan and that j(e)wish M(o)ther f(u)cker from Brazil. Wheres
H(i)tler when we need him? I hate you too People=S(h)it; this sight isnt
supposed to be a love connection for you and that other B(i)tch. I want
to see all of you slide down a giant razorblade into a pile of salt(using
your d!cks for brakes). I know why you blame yourselfs, if you cant handle
the swings of Slipknot, stay out of their sites. Where the f(u)ck has my
little b(i)tch GONZO been. Tuggin wool with all you other maggots! The
SS needs to purge every one of you dirty blooded b(a)stards. F(u)ck me,
Im all out of enemies.
Posted by
People=Sh*t: You're right Paranoia, Pertti is definetly
related to Ryan.
Posted by
Pertti: I was just f*cking with you ,coc*suckers..
Posted by
Eddie: that band rulz is a great band theyare
cool
Posted by
People=Sh*t: Gay, queer, fag, up the a$$. Is that all
you ever have to say you vocabulary challenged dumba$$?
Posted by
Paranoia: Hahaha...
Posted by
s....: etso no tengu ni idea de q va! pero buenu
vamos a lo que vamos! slipknot es el mejor, los mierda de guyrpos como
limkin park i asi dan pena! quieren ser lideres i dan pena! su disko son
comerciales no lo llevan en la sangre! solo es esto adew
Posted by
Paranoia: Nokia? Isn't that like a cell phone or
something? Wow. Now THAT is something to be proud of. On a related level
of excitement, I have DUST under my BED! Now, doesn't that make me special?
And no, we aren't stupid, we're just f*cking with your head, which seems
relatively easy. And Ryan, if you don't leave People=Sh*t the f*ck out
of your numbass sh*teating posts, I am seriously going to put some real
effort into finding you and killing you. Ha ha ha ha. And now, for the
benefit of just doing this, I'm going to say that I was kidding about the
Ryan thing. Now. Let's see what he says to me.
Posted by
Ryan: People=Sh*t fukk you *hope you die*
Posted by
Ryan: People=Sh*t FUKK YOU, YOU DUMB MOTHERFUKKER!
I WILL DESTROY YOU! U FA(G)A$$ BI(T)CH! FUKK U! FUKK YOUR WORLD! FUKK EVERYTHING
THAT YOU STAND FOR! YOU WONT BE EXIST FOR LONG!
Posted by
Ryan: people=sh*t Who the fukk do you think
you are I will come over and stick my shoe up your a$$ If I find out who
you are I will get my friends and kick you a$$ all the way back to hell!!
You are a fukking a$$hole who is a fuking bi(t)ch who gets it up the a$$!!!!
Posted by
Ryan: People=Sh*t man your fukkin gay why in
the fukkin hell would you waist all your computer geek time on a post against
me u queer why not go out a make a site of bands you like you know like
the backstreet boys and nsync you know all your fa(g) bands.
Posted by
People=Sh*t: Wow, that was easier than Ryan.
Posted by
Pertti: oops...I made a mistake..I ment "if we
would meet"-and"gollege boy" now you understand..And the gollege thing
you might stick deep up in to your ass!
Posted by
Pertti: I knew you must be pretty stupid..Does
the brand Nokia ring the bells?that's from finland..and I bet I would put
you in the ground if would meet...you f*cking stupid jenk!
Posted by
Brian: Sry but ryan doesnt know how to act in
front of earthlings. I will assure u he will be taken to lord Anodroidmatron
and punished rightfully. That is all.
Posted by
Blah : Ha Ha! Thats a good one u really got me
there!
Posted by
RYAN: RIDDLE ME THIS RIDDLE ME THAT WHOS AFRAID
OF CRAZY A$$? IT SEEMS ALL OF YOU ARE YALL R JUST CALLING ME A POSER CAUSE
YALL R SCARED.
Posted by
BrazilianSlipknotFan: all i know is slipknot fukkin rlz brazil
too and ryan is a son of a bitx
Posted by
People=Sh*t: Hmmm let's see, Finland, Finland, Finland,
NOPE don't give a sh*t about Finland. Next please.
Posted by
Paranoia: Finland? Isn't that in Canada? Man, I
really am a stupid American. LOL
Posted by
Pertti: Just kidding...I don't know you and I
don't give a f*ck about you!We are not gonna see face to face coz I'm from
Finland..If you even know where it is?
Posted by
Paranoia: Actually, pertti happens to be Ryan's
sister and wife these many years. Hell, maybe she's his mom and grandmother
and daughter, too! You never know with how inbreeding gets these days.
You tell 'em, man, don't let anyone try to tell you're not crazy. I'm crazier
than a necrophiliac on death row, OK? And I'm proud of that. You should
be proud of your insanity, too. So say it loud and proud: "I'm crazy and
I'm happy for it!" And don't let anyone try to persuade you otherwise over
the Internet. That is all.
Posted by
People=Sh*t: Obviously pertti you don't know me at
all, I'm 20 not a teenager. I go to college full time, work part time during
the school year and full time during summer. Total failure, ha ha that's
funny. Wow you sure do know me. If you ever met me in person, you would
know why I'm crazy, but fortunately for you and me, you will never meet
me face to face. You probably don't know what crazy really is. You probably
think that a crazy person is someone who bounces of walls and talks to
themself all the time and are locked in a padded wall white room. That
is a mentally embalanced person not a crazy person. Why don't you, the
actuall teenage, high school drop-out, total failure get your facts straight
before you try to bash someone again. Or at least try picking on someone
with the same mental capabilities as you, that is if you can find someone
that low. O one last thing, use your real post name RYAN, we all know it's
you.
Posted by
pertti: people=sh*t!You aren't crazy,no way..I
know you..you are just a loser you know?teenage prick who is trying to
be a tough guy,but in the end is a total failure!
Posted by
Paranoia: Yeah, you KNOW I was being sarcastic...LOL
Posted by
People=Sh*t: Ryan with homophobic dumbass comments,
naaaaa. Your sh*tting me.
Posted by
Paranoia: Here you go with the homophobic dumbass
comments again...
Posted by
Ryan: NO IM ON MARS WHERE I RIGHTFULLY BELONG
AWAY FROM U FAGG0TS.
Posted by
slipknot(1): i want slipknot in montreal because they
rulz
Posted by
Paranoia: Hey...everyone...notice that Ryan hasn't
posted yet today? You think maybe he's coming up with another joyful "I
like to think I'm a crazy psychopathic killer" song for us to use for Sing-A-Long?
What do YOU think?
Posted by
Killers: I wipe my Ryan everytime I take a dump
Posted by
People=Sh*t: I know of many words for people like Ryan,
but as far as one's that can be used on this website how about IMBECILE.
(a retarded person mentally equal to a child of 3-8 years old.) There you
go Ryan, now you don't have to look it up.
Posted by
Paranoia: We have a word for people like Ryan where
I come from, too, and I can't use it on this website.
Posted by
Dr Fever: we have a word for people like RYAN where
I come from, and that word is POSEUR!
Posted by
austin: What a joke.
Posted by
SOD: Speak english or die!
Posted by
El culero: por la puta madre si que ya somos famosos
asi que solo armagedon nos detiene todos nos iremos a la concha de su mare
y nos rajaremos por este grupo
Posted by
Eddie: Hey Slipknot, I really like your music
and what your about. I Cant wait till I get to go to one of your guys Concerts.
Posted by
People=Sh*t: Ryan, first of all everybody on here sounds
like they are somewhat similar to me except you. I'm glad for that. And
as far as acting like everyone else, I'm glad I don't. And there's a reason
for that, it's called individualality. Self-consciousness, one's own thoughts.
Obviously you don't contain any of those qualities. And as for the rest
of your statement, the devil created me and I don't have a soul, not for
the past two years anyway. And at least I'm a part of the human race. Why
don't you go back to the planet you came from.
Posted by
Ryan : People=Sh*t I am so sick of your sh*t.
Is it that impossible for you to act like the rest of the human race or
do you just get off on being a nasty b*tch? Fukk you, fukk you're parents
for creating you, and fukk the devil who put your soul in your body
Posted by
Dr Fever: I have decided from reading some of these
posts that Ryan is, in fact, not the troubled little youth he potrays on
here. He, in fact, says these things to make himself LOOK all scary and
crazy. Ryan, you're not crazy..in fact, you're a disgrace to those of us
that are at least borderline crazy. So, why don't you get off your 15 year
old ass and find something better to do with your time..or at least find
a more constructive trend to follow.
Posted by
Brian: Yes thats right ryan. I am your long lost
twin from mars. Ive attained access to the earthling device to tell you
you must come back home within 11 days in earth time calculations. If you
dont i will terminate planet earth.
Posted by
Paranoia: Ryan, you call yourself a fan... Well,
you may look into trying to understand the concept of Slipknot's music
before you go out and say that they taught you how to hate the world. Apathy
gets you nowhere, man. Take it from me, I've had personal experience.
Posted by
orgazman: Nice to meet u mr Lovitz
Posted by
Killers: heh heh matter of fact.. I am Jon Lovitz..
thats the ticket. yeah.. I dig his humor
Posted by
People=Sh*t: Hey Killers, a fan of Jon Lovitz by any
chance?
Posted by
Killers: oh and we've never been to the moon cause
we didnt have that knowledge back then to do it, so we faked it... yeah
thats the ticket. I know cause I work at Nasa.. matter of fact.. not only
do I work there..but I'm the president... yeah thats it thats the ticket
Posted by
Killers: more like dony fuk with a moron
Posted by
People=Sh*t: Ryan, I don't know why you keep insisting
that you are a Slipknot fan when all of us know that you aren't. And you
aren't crazy, you're just stupid and lost. I on the other hand am a Slipknot
fan and I am also crazy, not because I say that I am, but because everyone
that really knows me tells me that, sincerely too. It just doesn't show
in my posts because I actually have the capability of thought unlike you.
And how about the planet being destroyed by the SUN in a couple of billion
years. O wait minute, I forgot you haven't learned that yet because you're
still in third grade. O well. ha ha ha
Posted by
Killers: and all this coming from a college person.
uhhh huhh sure. Ryan you remind me of Jerry from the movie conspiracy theory.
Posted by
Ryan : DONT FUKK WITH A CRAZY SLIPKNOT FAN
Posted by
Ryan: slipknot speaks the truth and you ungratfull
bastards can't accept the truth so you refuse to believe making you scared,
frightened, and weak of course im a loser, a$$hole, fukking bastard, hell
I hate myself and every other human on the face of this weak planet so
i've learned from slipknot that when I feel like dying I pull my head up
high and say out loud FUKK YOU ALL people think its insane, well to humans
like that it would be so go ahead say what you will about me you're only
prooving you're weak and it doesn't matter to me cause soon this whole
planet will be nothing, it will be destroyed by god, satan, aliens, or
even by humans themselves out of world war 3.the end is coming and all
of you can deny it ,all you want but that wont be helping now will it now
after all this human sh*t I dare anyone to argue to this.
Posted by
orgazman: Hello pl I see Ryans bin getting someone,to
do his postings for him he seems to want emulate big bad slim shady, slipknot
fan my a*ss. Go on ryan say somthing gay scary about me I no u wanna or
maybe get your fag friend to do it for u all my love the Gazman
Posted by
People=Sh*t: Edit, Copy, Paste. Ryan, the technologically
advanced. But the intellectually challenged. ha ha ha.
Posted by
Ryan : People=Sh*t I'd drug slightly, chain you
to a chair and force you to watch non-stop n’sync videos, I'd shave your
head and force you to look at yourself, then I'd keep you alive for as
long as possible while starving you and I'd slowly make small cuts all
over you with a dull knife.
Posted by
Noises Noises People Make Noises: I f(u)ckin hate this stupid a(s)s website.
Everybody at Rocknworld need to die! F(u)ck your anti-tainment Bulls(h)it!!
Posted by
Paranoia: Ha, ha...it's good to know I have someone
at my back...but I was joking. I don't worry about him, I just think he
needs to get some help before his fantasy becomes his reality.
Posted by
People=Sh*t: Hey Paranoia, like I said in an earlier
post, Ryan is using this site as a fantasy of his/hers, I'm still not sure
which one. Maybe we should just use IT. And don't worry about that wuss,
I would waste IT's a$$ if IT layed IT's hands on you. But IT would have
to find you first, and I doubt that will happen. But just in case, I'm
there for ya if you ever need me.LOL
Posted by
Paranoia: Oh, sh*t, man, just what I was fearing
the most. Ryan figured out I was a girl, and now he wants to rape me! Go
ahead and fantasize, man, I won't f*cking stop you. As for your "people=sh*t
is a fag" comment...seriously, man, why do you keep coming out with this
sh*t? Does it make someone a fag if they don't agree with your shallow,
half-assed narrow-minded viewpoint? I'm sorry, but if you honestly think
that, I say you need special education in addition to mental counciling.
You must have absolutely nothing to do with your life to actually come
on a message board and say this kind of sh*t. I'm not going to speak violently
towards you, if you want to do that, you can just keep doing it and have
a one-sided argument. Fine. Whatever. That's not my problem. If it entertains
you in some sick, twisted way, then go right the f*ck ahead. But in the
meantime, please keep your homophobic (if you don't know what it means,
look it up in the dictionary) and bigoted a$$hole comments to yourself.
Got it? Good. Peace.
Posted by
BK,the Teen Hearthrob: That's true,Stuck.They do say that.However,they
also use the sleeping pills elsewhere on the album.Thanks,though.
Posted by
STUCK: YO BK ITS ILL SEW YOUR A**HOLE SHUT AND
KEEP FEEDIN YOU AND FEEDING YOU. HOPE I COULD HELP. PAIN FOR PLEASURE.
LIFE AND DEATH. TRULEY THE YING FOR THE YANG
Posted by
STUCK: YO BK ITS ILL SEW YOUR A**HOLE SHUT AND
KEEP FEEDIN YOU AND FEEDING YOU. HOPE I COULD HELP. PAIN FOR PLEASURE.
LIFE AND DEATH. TRULEY THE YING FOR THE YANG
Posted by
STUCK: ONE STEP I REMAIN OUTSIDE THE LINES OF
WHAT MY MIND AND THOUGHTS COMBIBE. NEVER WILL I TRUST YOU. LOST FOREVER
EVER PAIN DELIVER. CANT TRY ERASE THE PAST AND EVERYTHING THE MEMORIES
WILL LAST. NOT FOR LONG NO NOT FOR LONG. SO I GET IT AND SOONER GONE. BULLSH*T
I GAVE AWAY WAIT TAKE MY LIFE TO GAIN.. DEAD. GONE. NO PEACE. NO PEACE
NO PEACE. DEAD AND GONE.
Posted by
BK,the Teen Hearthrob: Hey jerkoff(that's you Ryan),to quote
the Wu-Tang Clan(That's Wu-Tang Clan,not that retarded Ku-Klux Klan you
belong to),I'll sew your eyelids open and keep feeding you sleeping pills.Grow
up and get a life,loser.
Posted by
Killers: and another thing Ryan, we unlike your
3rd grade post, only need to say it in a one word sentence... your a DICK.
I dunno I find it really funny the fact that RYAN who tries to protray
himself as straight, sure knows an awful lot about the "GAY LIFESTYLE"
when he posts back at people. He talks about ass cramming, and dicks, and
fags and such. RYAN you sure know the whole lifestyle. Why are you so rich
in the knowledge of the homosexual lifestyle RYAN. Are you still in denial
and reaching out for help? You really do have issues.
Posted by
People=Sh*t: Hey Ryan=sh*t, I hope you were just referring
to me and not saying that you were me. Because that post by Ryan=sh*t was
not me. Ryan: after all this time you still can't come up with some new
material. Why don't you go to school and once you pass 3rd grade, that
is if you ever do, then come back and post something other than calling
everyone a fag. Because that remark is getting older than your mama's panties
that you're wearing right now.
Posted by
Ryan :
Posted by
STUCK : I GUESS TODAY LIKE ANY OTHER DAY I SIT
BACK AND SLOWLY FALL INTO MY OWN WORLD. IN THIS TIME I COME TO REALIZATIONS
OF THE COMPLETE BLANKNESS OF WHAT IS TRAGICALLY REFERED TO AS LIFE AND
WONDER WHAT IT HAS TO OFFER TO US..? THE CHANGES THAT SHOULD BE MADE AND
THE PROMISES WHICH ARE ALWAYS BROKE. ONE MORE CHANCE TO IMPROVE THAT IS
ONLY REPLACED WITH THE REALILTY THAT OUR CONDITIONS WILL WEAKEN. FEAR OF
LIFE AND DEATH IS TO ONLY LEAVE ME STUCK IN BETWEEN GIVING ME LESS IN DEATH
THEN WHAT I HAD IN LIFE. STRENGHT FOR ME AND I PRAY IN THE PURIST FORM
CAN ERASE ALL THAT HAS PASSED ME BY. SO WHEN I SIT HERE THINKING OF LIFE
AND THE CHANGES THAT NEED TO BE MADE I WILL ONLY ASK MY SELF WHY?
Posted by
Ryan=sh*t : Ryan Killing you would be more fun, I
think.
Posted by
Ryan=sh*t : Hey, uh... Ryan I mean 12-year-old-trashy-nothing-to-back-up-his-sh*t-talk-fukkup.
Yeah, uh... this is People=Sh*t The one who originally referred to your
blatant stupidity. Yeah, do me a favor and bring it on I WONT LET YOU WIN
Posted by
Ryan : People=Sh*t Oooh.. Well I wouldn't wanna
kill you cause I'm finding myself in love with you *he he* but.. If you
really want me too.. I would.. Tie you down.. Oh wait no that's how I would
pleasure you... Naw I'd tie you down and get a chalkboard and make you
listen to me scratch my nails down it (of course I'd be wearing ear plugs)
then I'd hold your eyes open with those laundry clothes pins and make you
watch as I chopped you into pieces and tore out your organs one by one!
Posted by
Ryan : People=Sh*t thinks he can shove a 12 gauge
shotgun down a hole that is about 1 inch wide? i guess you could with your
a$$hole seeing that it has had enough loosening up with all the dikks you
get up it! get the facts straight cu(n)t you are what most people refere
to as a fa(g)ot!
Posted by
Ryan the Loser: would you could you in a box? I would
not could not in a box, I would not could not Sam I am. Ryan your funny,
keep em coming cause we havnt had a laugh like this in years. Your friend-
Killers
Posted by
Gonzo: ooooo noises noises people make noises
took you about a month to finaly come back and post something that weak?
I dont even know why I bothered to waste typing back to your lame drival.
Your as bad as Ryan
Posted by
noises noises people make noises: Ryan- why spend 2 hours of your wasted
youth thinking of funny little quips to type when you can just make them
short and sweet. Ryan- your a f(u)ckin idiot!
Posted by
Noises Noises People make Noises: Gonzo- first off, I dont want to drive
out to the ghetto and visit your sorry ass. Secondly, you spend way to
much time in here as a Ja Rule fan. Personally I could care less if your
4 years older than me, everyone knows that rap fans are all F(a)ggot p(u)ssies
that would tuck their tail and run from a fight. Ive learned a lot from
chatting with you Gonzo, I now know that I cant reason with a retard; and
that no matter how hard you may type, your still a panty waist named Gonzo.
Posted by
People=Sh*t: Does anybody else think that we got under
his skin yet? Ryan, you are one funny guy/girl/thing. ha ha ha!
Posted by
Ryan: People=Sh*t Life Got You Down?If you've
been a little depressed lately and have contemplated partaking in the bliss
of death, here are a couple of cool ways to kill yourself. Even if you
don't use these exclusive royalty-free methods, remember to do it as creatively
as possible. Don't be boring and just take sleeping pills --- go out with
style and flare.All these methods require some planning but don't let that
dissuade you. Your life must be pretty pathetic if you're killing yourself.
Why not leave a legacy? JumpingHere are a couple of great ways to kill
your self by jumping off a tall building or cliff or basically anything
really high. The thing about these is that they generally work best if
you can get a big crowd watching before you jump. Don't do it when there
is no one around. There's just no bloody point in that.Explosives Strapped
to Your BodyDifficulty level: 71. Get a LOT of explosives. The more the
better. 2. Hook up a detonator to an altimeter. Set it for 100-200 feet.
That will give you good dispersion. 3. Mix Vaseline and gasoline in a bucket.
4. Find a really tall building. Something like the World Trade Center is
perfect and is in a sufficiently crowded area to generate the proper sized
crowd. 5. Get an extra large trench coat, ski mask, duct tape and a lighter.
6. Bring your materials to the top of your building. Liberally apply the
Vaseline-gasoline mixture to your entire body. Duct tape the explosives
around your legs, arms, head and torso. The more you use the better. You
cannot overdo this. Attach the altimeter to the explosives. 7. Put on the
trench coat and mask so that the explosives are not visible. 8. Start ranting
and throwing things so that you are sure to attract notice. Drag this part
out as long as possible. Say anything that comes to mind but try to stay
away from real problems. Your love life DOES NOT make for a good sound
bite. Ask for news cameras from the major networks. Pace around a lot while
waving your arms. 9. DO NOT let on that you have explosives on your body.
The police will clear the area and you definitely don't want that. 10.
When you've gotten the crowd to a fevered pitch, when the helicopters are
hovering like vultures, whip off the jacket and set yourself on fire. 11.
Wait until you are completely engulfed in flame then jump. 12. Try to steer
yourself towards the crowd. That way flaming falling body parts will pelt
the fleeing onlookers when you explode. 13. Congratulations! You've just
made history. Falling through Chain SawsDifficulty level: 10This is much
more difficult to pull off. Instead of explosives, the money shot is you
falling though three or four operating chain saws. You do not need as high
a building for this --- anything above three stories will do. Remember
to use the Vaseline-gasoline mixture. That's the ingredient that adds pizzazz.Bullet
in Your HeadDifficulty level: 1HAMMER a bullet into your skull. Make sure
there is an empty gun nearby but do not fire it. Bash the bullet into your
frontal lobe. It doesn't matter how you get it done it will perplex the
authorities for years and you will, most assuredly, be a hot news topic.
Hell, you want fame in death to rival the obscurity you had in life don't
you?Death by HairballDifficulty level: 3Get a cat or a dog and brush it
every day. Save the hair until you have a giant hairball. Plug up your
nose then shove the hairball into your mouth.Leave a cryptic note about
how you believe little Fluffy or Rover was planning to kill you in your
sleep.Meat GrinderDifficulty level: 11Find a sausage making company that
has a giant meat grinder. Set up a hidden video camera to tape your death.
Leave a will with explicit instructions that it not be read until one year
after the night of your grinding. In it, detail the way you died and the
location of the hidden camera.Sneak in at night naked and turn on the video
camera. Climb into the grinder and take massive amounts of pills of your
choice. Make sure it is enough to kill you.In the morning you will be ground
up and made into sausages. One year later your will will be read to the
news media and people all around the nation will vomit simultaneously.Drown
in Your Own UrineDifficulty level: 8Get a huge vat or possibly an above
ground pool. Save all your urine. Drown yourself in it. Put a note on the
side of the pool saying, "MY URINE."This method would work for any body
fluid: vomit, snot, dooty. For you despondent guys out there: A vat of
your own sperm would be truly impressive. You would have to work frantically
for years, but what else have you got to do? Pop into alt.binaries.erotica
and get crackin'.Make a Political StatementDifficulty level: 5The abundance
of media outlets these days has afforded a nearly infinite number of ways
to relay your message of doom and despair while consequently minimizing
the impact. No longer can you be assured a sizable audience for the ranting
and pontificating that so often accompany political/ecological/religious
movements."Oh, whatever can I do?!" you may be wailing. "The world is coming
to an end. Death and despair loom on the horizon. [Insert your hated adversary's
name here] is the embodiment of evil. He/she/they/it is/are/will be the
antichrist/destruction of us all/black death come to haunt us/etc.""How
can I get my cause the attention it deserves?" you ask. The answer is simple:
A futile pointless violent act displayed to millions on the evening news.
Chop Your Own Head Off While Standing Next to a Major World Leader1. Ingratiate
yourself with your chosen mark. Get his/her/its confidence. Become a trusted
member of the inner circle. 2. Sew a hand ax into a coat or jacket so that
it is easily removable but not particularly visible. 3. Make a statement.
Video tape is preferable because the TV news shows love visuals. The more
visual material they have the better. The next best thing would be audio
tape. It won't hold an audience as well but at least it can be played under
the video of your death. Never write a letter. No one reads anymore. No
one will care. Make sure your message will be easily found on your corpse.
4. On the day of a major rally, with hundreds or thousands of attendees
and lots of television cameras, wear the coat with the hand ax attached.
5. Send backup copies of your message to as many news outlets as you can
on the appointed day. 6. Stand in the background as you remove the ax from
the coat. When you are finished move slowly toward your dignitary. 7. As
the event reaches its climax, whip out the ax and lop off your own head.
If possible try to run around like a chicken. Make sure to get as much
blood on the famous person as possible. Aim well. That will be the image
that gets the news coverage and the sour faces from Cathy Lee Gifford.
8. Bask in your glorious death. You've made the supreme sacrifice to save
the world and have ended the torment that was your existence. Assisted
SuicideSometimes you need help. Sometimes it takes a committee. Some of
the many ways of suicide are just too complicated to do alone. These are
perfectly valid routes to bliss and will not taint, in any way, your death.Death
by SeinfeldDifficulty level: 9Find a strong burly friend that will help
you. Then find Jerry Seinfeld. Have your strong burly friend pick up Seinfeld
and beat you to death with him.Later Jerry will make a tv show out of it
or maybe it will just end up in his act. "So I said, 'Hey! Who are these
people that pick up other people and beat other people to death with them?'"A
Pun DeathDifficulty level: 3Take five large steaks. Rub them all over your
body and stuff what remains into every pocket and orifice you can find.
Tape at least one streak inside your clothing directly to your body. Find
one large hungry grizzly bear. Taunt it till it comes to a full boil, attacks,
and kills you. Dying this way, at the paws of a grizzly bear, will allow
the tabloid newspapers and daily tv news shows to use the headline "Grizzly
Death!" repeatedly. Intest You Intest MeDifficulty level: 4 Sometimes you
want to do something violent and bloody but you just don't have the wherewithal
to assemble a cache of assault weapons. This method is simple and convenient
for those on limited budgets. 1. Make a small incision in your stomach.
2. Pull out your intestines. 3. Hang yourself with the intestines. 4. A
cryptic note about aliens might be a nice touch. End the Holiday MadnessDifficulty
level: 6 Anyone with half a brain hates the Thanksgiving to Christmas season.
There is too much family. Too many happy annoying people demanding things
from you. Too much forced joy specials on television. And WAY too many
repetitions of songs you've been listening to since childhood. Anything
Cathy Lee Gifford espouses must, by definition, be evil.The only way to
escape this recurring nightmare is to: 1. Stick your head in the turkey
just after it comes out of the oven preferably during the Christmas Day™
family gathering but a Thanksgiving Day™ end may also serve your purposes.
Your timing really depends on your own peculiar circumstances. 2. Run around
banging into family members all the while flailing your arms. You can never
go wrong flailing your arms when trying to kill yourself. The more flailing
the better. 3. Go into a room that can be easily locked so you won't be
accidentally saved by well meaning but inconsiderate friends or family
members.[Alternatively you can just flee the house and run through the
streets aimlessly until you pass out. NO ONE in a large city will ever
go near someone with a steaming turkey on his head. If you live in a wooded
or rural area the best thing to do would be to run off into the wilderness
so your body can be found with all sorts of gnaw marks on it from the multitude
of animals that will flock to your decaying carcass (and the turkey's too).]
4. An interesting footnote to this holiday might be to swallow a large
number of Christmas ornaments (lights, small Santa dolls, actual fruit
cake) before you follow your bliss. Give your family and friends (if you
have either) something to discuss the following year.
Posted by
Ryan: Paranoia I'd wine you, dine you, then
strip u naked, take pictures, then snap your neck and lay you on the ground
in front of your house so everyone could see. I'd write "I Jynxed her"
across your chest in lipstick. I'm twisted...
Posted by
Ryan: People=Sh*t I AM FUC(K)ING YOU UP PUNK
YOU ARE DEAD
Posted by
Ryan: People=Sh*t I'd drug slightly, chain you
to a chair and force you to watch non-stop n’sync videos, I'd shave your
head and force you to look at yourself, then I'd keep you alive for as
long as possible while starving you and I'd slowly make small cuts all
over you with a dull knife.
Posted by
Ryan: People=Sh*t I'd glue your mouth shut so
you couldn't scream, then slowly remove your organs (no painkillers just
so you know), and watch you slowly bleed to death.
Posted by
People=Sh*t: Actually, I wouldn't doubt it if he went
and did some cow tipping just for inspiration. Hey Ryan, did you eat paint
chips as a kid?
Posted by
Paranoia: Yeah, I figured that was what he was up
to. I imagine he must have taken a break from cow tipping and spent many
days in the loft of the farmhouse coming up with that insight. Wouldn't
you say?
Posted by
cristian arce araya: slipknot is great, man is cool i am the
more biges fan.
Posted by
People=Sh*t: Well, I guess he didn't go to his counselor
for that anger problem that he has. ha ha ha. And stupid people like you
Ryan can never make me mad, instead I just laugh at how pathetic you are.
Hey Paranoia, no wonder why Ryan didn't post for so many days. He spent
all that time coming up with these wuss poems. And by the way Ryan, if
you were to ever be in my presence, I would shove my 12 gauge double-barrel
shotgun down your throat and blow a 3-foot wide hole in your body. Ryan,
I want you to grow up and get a life, or else you will end up with 10 wifes.
You'll end up hitting them in the face and then I'll come by and beat you
in the case. Why must you act like you're two years old, if you don't stop
then you will always be told. That you are a stupid, pathetic, high-school
drop-out, and all of that is without a shadow of a doubt. Hey look, I can
rhyme too.
Posted by
Azzy: You're all mine. mva ha haaaaa
Posted by
Paranoia: I still don't exactly understand how you're
going to find us. You do need to be relatively close to get the person
you want to kill. Just for future reference.
Posted by
Shaun : ryan shut the hell up you pieca sh*t
Posted by
Ryan: People=Sh*t If i made you angry enough
( i haven't yet) read this i will get a glass bottle and shove it inside
you (you know where i mean) and then stamp on it till the glass broke i'm
running out of these.....
Posted by
Ryan: People=Sh*t I'd glue your mouth shut so
you couldn't scream, then slowly remove your organs (no painkillers just
so you know), and watch you slowly bleed to death.
Posted by
Ryan: Paranoia I'd find a REALLY big dog and
take the leash and wrap it around your neck, then clip it to the dog's
collar and release a bunch of cats and chipmunks and birds and watch the
dog run after them and choke you to death . HA HA HA
Posted by
Paranoia: Ryan's a poet and he didn't know it! Ha
ha ha, look, I can rhyme, too! Jeeesus, you must have waaaay too much time
on your hands for that. And by the way...your preaching really scared the
living sh*t out of me. So, if you're so bent on killing us all, you probably
know where we live, work/go to school, and hang out. Never underestimate
the power of stupid people in large groups, that's all I have to say.
Posted by
Ryan: SERIAL KILLER I want to see your body
hanging down from a string I want to see your scull crushed like a ming
I want you dead, I want you dead I want to see your skeleton in my closet
I want to see a mirror with your blood across it I want you dead, I want
you dead Were you to know my desperate rage you will put me in a cage There
is something to this evening If you're not dead by then I want you half
way there I want you dead… I want to see you lose your teeth one by one
I want to see your organs drying in the sun I want you dead, I want you
dead I want to see your veins strapped around your head I want to have
your liver on a piece of bread I want you dead, I want you dead Were they
to know my desperate rage They will put me in a cage There is something
to this evening I can feel it in the air If you're not dead by then I want
you half way there Every day that you survive Becoming hard to stay alive
There is something 'bout this moment I can taste it in the air If you're
not dead I want you halfway there I want you dead, I want you dead… I want
to use your nipples as my coasters I want to see your face on missing posters
I want you dead, I want you dead
Posted by
SERIAL KILLER: IM COMING ROUND YOUR HOUSE BOY, IM GOING
TO SLIT YOUR THROAT. F*CK YOUR FAMILY WHILE U BLEED TO DEATH THANXS FOR
THE GOOD TIMES. BUT NOW ITS TIMR FOR U TO D*E
Posted by
Ryan: I can play these fukking games too I can
be as big an a$$hole as you
Posted by
Ryan: People=Sh*t Bang Bang You're Dead!!!
Posted by
Ryan: Payback i know u morons from way beck
Posted by
Ryan: People=Sh*t and the others when I'm finished,
it's gonna be a bloodbath
Posted by
Ryan: Death save the drama for your mamma
Posted by
Ryan: I'mma keep it real For the MORONS I might
kill
Posted by
Ryan: orgazman you are a waste of internet space
and a twisted cu(n)t
Posted by
Ryan: FOR ALL THE HATERS OUT THERE I'm going
to kill you, that's what I'll do. I'm going to take a bullet and put it
right through you. I'm going to kill you with a knife, better yet, a dagger
will take your life. I'll shut you up and send you to hell where you'll
twist in agony, scream and yell. Painful and slow is how your death will
be. I'll tear out your bladder and hold it up so you can see. I'll force
you to drink a killer potion then send you by sewer into the ocean. I'll
play Nero and send you up in a blaze. Or I'll have starving boars chase
you through a maze. I'll let wolves in heat rip you apart. and I'll give
the devil your still-beating heart. your feet will be swallowed up and
chewed eaten by wild baboons hungered for food. Your arms will be used
for swatting flies. to the fish I'll throw your mutilated eyes. Your upper
body will be cast in the sea and used as a bob. The rest of you will be
attacked by a rioting mob. You'll sit and listen to Jimmy Swaggart preach.
then be devoured by a blood sucking leech. I'll tie your toes together
with a piece of twine then hang you upside down and give you to the vultures
to dine. I'll dress you up in clothes made from "The Gap" Then a fierce
lightening bolt will give you a Z-A-P. After that, I'll tie you in a chair
in a nearby town where you'll be forced to listen to Casy-Cassum's top
twenty countdown. Your fingernails will be plucked by an ostrich's beak.
Too bad your aching will last for only one week. I'll torture you in so
many different ways. To count them all would take a great number of days.
But, when I'm finished there will be nothing left of you to see... AND
THEN YOU'LL REGRET THE DAY YOU MESSED WITH ME!
Posted by
Ryan: Death i'd cut off your toenail and scratch
ya to death
Posted by
Ryan: Gonzo i would rape you, cut you up, eat
you then throw you back up and put you in a jar
Posted by
Ryan: Death YOU ARE DEAD SLIPKNOT FANS WILL
KILL U
Posted by
Ryan: Killers You're Nobody (Til Somebody Kills
You)
Posted by
Ryan: ITS WAR AND YOU ARE ( People=Sh*t) OSAMA
BIN LADEN
Posted by
JAMES ROOT (YES THE GUITARIST OF SLIPKNOT): HEY PRIEST KILLER YOU F#CKED UP FAG! PAUL
THE BASSIST IS BLACK YOU DUMB RACIST F#CK. IF YOU SAY ANY THING ELSE TO
OFFEND PAULS RELATIVES ME AND MICK WILL FIND YOU AND F#CK YOU UP BAD HEAR
THAT FAG ? SO SNAP THE F#CK OUT OF IT AND STOP TALKING ABOUT THE HOUSE
OF GOD LIKE THAT.
Posted by
orgazman: Priest killer are u related to ryan. HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
RYAN IS THAT U AHHHHHH U DONT HAVE TO HIDE FROM US LOVE THE GAZMAN
Posted by
Priest Killer: Slipknot makes me want to burn the nearest
church to the ground and piss on a nigger's face. I want to crucify everybody.--------------------------------------------------THANK
YOU SLIPKNOT!
Posted by
Plinio: I´m brazilian and like very much
Slipknot. Why you not coming to Brazil (Porto Alegre)?
Posted by
Sofia: I hadn`t heard you before i got together
with my boyfriend, and now I listen to you everyday! Thank you for all
the impression i have gotten fro you! I am from Finland. Kisses and hugs!
Posted by
Death: who cares what he said, why the fu`k did
he give you his address
